We are going to share our best relationship advice and tips with you so that you can improve your relationship. Helping you to make time for each other, have a date night, find a babysitter, and do those things that you used to do together before you had children. You’re both in need of some time without the children just to be you again. That’s fine, find the babysitter, book it on the calendar, or even do things when the children have gone to bed. This guide will help you.
1. Surprise & helping each other
Whether you’re surprising him, or he’s surprising you. You’ve had a day or week or a few hours away from each other, a nice way to surprise them is to bring home flowers, run them a bath, buy them their favourite chocolate, organise a night out without telling them. Discover why surprising your partner is important.
2. Compliment each other
Many couples get to a stage where they are so comfortable with each other, that they don’t say "you look good ’ anymore. Instead, they show it with kisses or a particular look.
It’s important to tell the person how good they look, or how well they have done dealing with something. Compliments go far, even after 7 years I, and my man still tells each other that we look good, as often as we can. Thank them for the hard work they have done on that day.
3. Share relationship duties and responsibilities
Whether it’s doing the washing up/washing they would normally complain about doing, take the children out for them to catch a break. Help each other with responsibilities. It’s one of the main things in our house, point-scoring who’s done more of what for who. Don’t do it, appreciate what they have done even if it is putting their boxers in the washing bin..or picking up their bathroom towel. If your partner normally baths the kids, why not do it with them one night, or do it yourself, surely half an hour can be missed work or pleasure to help a loved one.
4. Do things as a family
Get out altogether, plan fun activities and trips to other places experiencing things as a family. Too many couples I know argue about this. As the stereotype goes: the woman generally does do a lot with the children while the man works, and by the time he’s back from work the kids are tucked up in bed and the mum is exhausted.
That’s why it’s important to plan things for the days off of work, go to farms, parks, picnics, meals out, seeing family, it’s all about doing it together as a team, and as a family.
5. Agree sometimes
Plenty of parents argue, split up over their children playing them, “Mum said no, all right ill ask dad” and generally if the mum and dad aren’t on the same page, the child will get their own way somehow. It’s frustrating and they should be punished for not listening to the parent in the first place.
When the parent that says no punishes the child. As long as the child is not in any danger (physically or mentally.) You should agree on a punishment. Be strong as a team, after all, you were just a pair once before. Disagree once the children are asleep, don’t let them see it’s affecting your relationship, talk it through and sort out an action plan for next time.
6. Absence makes the heart grow fonder
We all know the saying, but plenty of us won’t act upon it. You feel miserable and sick of the sight of your other half. That’s not because you don’t love them but simply because you need a break, you need space. Stay the night at a friend's house, or even spend time with your parents. Having a night or two will really benefit you and your partners' relationship. You will feel excited to see them not excited to see them go.
Too many people are scared to be alone, however, space alone will give you time to think for yourself. If I and my partner need a break from each other, it’s difficult. Because one or both of you is left with the children. Then the other one still needs a break. Switch it up, and take it in turns, or if you’ve got more than one child then have one each. Even a couple of hours can do you the world of good to clear your head. According to Health.com – even making your partner a cup of coffee can improve your relationship.
7. Communicate
Arguing can be the result of miscommunication if someone was expecting their partner to do something and they didn’t or didn’t do it the way they expected. By simply communicating, you can prevent most arguments. If you openly know that you have made a mistake, communicate your apology because being stubborn will only worsen the problem.
Relationships will have a significant impact on your life as you grow older. While some people will only have one or two relationships, many may have multiple until they find the right person. Nonetheless, it is important to maintain good communication in your relationship. In the modern era of mobile phones and social media, communicating with your partner has become more important than ever. In the long term, communication can help to make or break a relationship and as a result, it must be taken seriously. Here are three reasons why communication is crucial to developing a stable relationship.
It helps to improve trust within the relationship
By communicating with your partner, this helps to develop trust and respect for one and other. For example, if you are out with your friends, simply drop them a message letting them know what you are going to do, they will then return the favour. This helps you both to develop trust for one and other which will help to benefit you both in the long run.
How to build trust?
Trust is a fundamental aspect of any strong relationship. Without a high level of trust in the relationship, not only can it break down but it can become toxic. Doing more harm than good for everyone involved. It is important to understand that at the start of every relationship, it is very rare that the other person is simply going to trust you straight away.
In today’s society, it could be argued that people are now less trustful than ever. As a result, it is important that you help the other in trusting you, building it up at a steady pace. How to build trust in a relationship? Although this happens naturally, by proving to them that they can trust you, you can speed up this process.
One fantastic way to build up trust in any relationship is to display and express your feelings through good communication. Even if you believe the way that you are feeling is wrong, it is often best to express that feeling.
If the person you are with understands you, they will try and help you through these emotions, rather than reacting in a manner that makes you feel worse. By expressing your feelings, you are somewhat exposing slight vulnerability. While many people would consider this a bad thing, it is actually very good for your relationship. It will be a clear sign that you trust the person that you are with.
Communication can help you to manage conflict in the relationship
Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship. No matter how stable your relationship is, at some point, you will engage in conflict, this is of course only human nature and does not mean that your relationship is bad. All couples argue, in fact, scientists have even gone as far as to suggest that some small conflict within your relationship can be beneficial. It helps to clear the air between the couple, which in the long term will result in a healthier relationship.
However, it is how you manage the conflict that matters. As many people tend to do, they will simply ignore their partner or as many people call it ‘give them the silent treatment. While this may win you a point at the time, it won’t sort anything and could even escalate the argument further. In order to manage conflict, effective communication is crucial. Discuss with your partner what actually happened, ensuring that you listen to their point of view, as well as present your own. You need to remember that during a conflict, it is not you against your partner, but you and your partner against the problem.
Another way of building up trust is to give the benefit of the doubt. If you have any reason to believe that your partner is lying. Rather than outright accusing them, believe what they are saying. It is human nature to distrust others as a mechanism for survival and often, this mechanism can be wrong. Unless you have valid evidence that your partner is doing something to betray your trust then there is no need to create conflict.
If you feel strongly about something, approach them in a calm manner and just talk about the issue at hand. They should be understanding of how you are feeling and provide you with reassurance should you have any forms of doubt. Not only does this prevent feelings of jealousy, but it helps to strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
The final tip that we would suggest for building trust is giving as well as receive. If your partner surprises you with a gift, surprise them a week later. Nobody wants to continuously provide for their partner and receive nothing in return, after all, this is a horrible feeling and certainly not one that you should experience from your relationship.
By giving as well as receiving, you will build up a level of trust with your loved one. Which in the long term can lead to a happy and fulfilling relationship that you both benefit from.
What to do if your partner breaks your trust?
It is important to remember that while it is important to trust your partner, they must give you a reason to do so. If they continuously break your trust, even after you have given them multiple chances, then this is a cause for concern and maybe something you should talk to them about.
Persistent cheating or lying is never acceptable, and you shouldn’t lower yourself to that standard. I like to think that if a relationship ends, it has simply run its course and there was a lesson that needed to be learnt. Sometimes the relationship is worth fighting for but if you cannot continue, then maybe it’s not meant to be. After all, they don’t deserve someone as amazing as you anyway.
Together you can build a companionship
By communicating with one and another, you develop yourselves as a couple. While you will still have your own life, you can share experiences with your partner, which will help to develop your interests together. By doing this you can push each other further and further, encouraging one and others to be their best. This creates not only a healthy relationship but one that you will both enjoy and cherish.
You will become more than just a couple, but companions through your lives, tackling each problem as a couple, rather than individuals. While there are many benefits of communicating with your partner, we believe that these are some of the most important.
Is arguing healthy?
A heated argument can cause a huge build-up of stress, and the cross conflict can drive you both to dislike each other within the moment. On the other hand, whilst arguing doesn’t seem like it could be beneficial. It definitely can be and the reason why is because it can clear the air. Over time people can get subconsciously irritated with the way other people do things, and when we suppress that feeling, it can niggle away at us. This feeling left can build up more and more over time and when the argument comes, it is all let out.
Whilst arguing constantly is not healthy, it could be simply just a phase that all couples go through, or it could be a sure sign that you are both spending too much time together and you both need some time by yourselves to be able to appreciate each other's company again.
On the other hand. I believe that if a couple didn’t experience many arguments for years and then eventually had one, it could be that severe, with the comments flying backward and forwards that it would be more likely to be hurtful and mean a lot more, that it could be hard to recover from. Causing the relationship to collapse.
Sometimes arguments continue to show up time and time again and this could be down to not actually resolving them properly. The best way to resolve a conflict is with good communication, listening to each other carefully, and coming to a mutual agreement that both of you were in the wrong.
Let’s face it when an argument occurs, both people say some things that are not acceptable. As long as you can both own up to your mistakes and move on from them you will be fine. Arguments are said to strengthen a relationship. If an argument ever turns to violence then it’s not healthy whatsoever, and you should not stay in a relationship if there is any physical or verbal abuse.
How to stop arguments?
Arguing can be a not very nice experience and generally, the best way to stop arguing is communication. Retaliating with comments back will only fuel the fire. To put the fire out, you either need to communicate until you come to an agreement reaching an understanding of each other's problem and make the effort to do something about it. If your partner is not backing down, the only other choice you may have is to walk away to let them calm down.
Time is a healer and over time the anger will fade, walking away can be seen by the other person as a sign of weakness as it seems as though you are walking away from your problems but in reality, it is because you don’t want to argue anymore which you could express later on when the fire has calmed down. Something that I am guilty of doing is responding in a silly way to my partner when she is angry. I feel that when she is being moody or argumentative with me it is annoying and so I reflect that back to her and try to find ways to annoy her. I would not recommend this as it could damage your relationship, however for me personally it makes her not want to argue with me.
An example of what I do is say things that don’t make any sense like “and what did that person say about that?” she would then reply what are you talking about? I would reply and is it alright then or is it still average? She would quickly get frustrated with my replies and stop arguing because she knows she is not going to get the response that she is after. Another thing I tend to do is overly agree with everything. For example, if she says you didn’t help me with this? I would say I am very sorry about not helping you. It denies her of the argument that she is after and this refuses the argument.
Could social media be ruining your relationship?
Social media is a growing phenomenon that continues to evolve. It has in some ways enhanced far communications in humans and whilst early social media lacked a personal feel and was marketed more towards teens. And those that were single looking to date. All of that aside from social media has quickly become relevant to almost any person. It is more common than not, that you will be available on social media. We will discuss the many possible problems associated with social media, that can have an impact on your relationship.
1. Mobile phones
The fact is that social media is amazing due to how easy communication has become. which does also possess many of other negative characteristics that can have a severe effect on your relationship. As social media types are available on mobiles, using your phone a lot when around your spouse can actually affect your communication. This could also send a signal to your partner that you do not appreciate them. This is not good for your relationship.
2. Jealousy
Another point is that not all communications are good. Social media is also a place that emits jealousy specifically when your spouse is talking to other people. It’s also a mosh pit for rumours to gather, thus causing many arguments. Some people are seen talking badly about their partners openly on social media, and this alone is enough to destroy a relationship.
3. Miscommunication
On social media, not all communications are clear. In fact when you send a message to your spouse, even if you had good intentions when sending it. It could easily be taken badly depending on the mood of the person reading it. This type of miscommunication is a common cause of arguments and in some cases due to stubbornness of right and wrong and the mixture of point-scoring. It can cause a lot of problems and can quickly get out of hand.
4. Gullible
Another example is the amount of news that is published on social media. Some of it is factual. But most of it is fake. If you’re gullible and believe the news. Telling your partner about it could make you seem gullible or as someone who enjoys negativity. If this isn’t enough reason to stop using social media. Then maybe the last few points will sway you.
5. Procrastination
Social media is one of the top things that people choose to do when they are procrastinating. It constantly stops you from doing what you need to do. This could be work, tidying the house, (you said you would do it!) In some cases. Social media can even cause people to ignore their children. Its commonly stopping people from keeping up with their duties. Social media can ruin your relationship, or at least put a strain on it.
Any one of these problems related to social media could be destroying your relationship right now. You should break the chain, and improve your relationship today. You can do this by focusing more on your partner and less on social media.
What is point scoring in a relationship?
No matter what people say, relationships can be difficult. In all healthy relationships, you will argue with your partner, however, the way you resolve these issues will determine whether or not your relationship lasts. Point scoring is the action in which you and your partner tally on who did what, when they did it, and at what cost of time and effort.
By doing this, you set yourself up for a wide range of negative emotions and unpleasant experiences. Rather than appreciating what your partner has done for you, you simply compare it to what you have done for them, ruining the effort entirely.
Now, we are not saying you should do everything for your partner and not have any effort reciprocated, in fact, if this happens then maybe you should start questioning your relationship. However, at the same time, you should not count the amount of effort they put in and compare it to your own.
In every relationship, each person will have their own strengths and weaknesses as well as their own schedules. Make sure you always take this into consideration. For example, if your partner has had a busy day at work, or a busy week altogether, treat them to a special occasion. When you do so, make sure you don’t count this as a ‘point’ instead, use the time to make them feel better and provide them with the support that they need. After all, isn’t that the point of a relationship?
Even during difficult time periods, point-scoring will not benefit anyone. During times of frustration, you may feel like you are doing more than your partner, to the point where you’re feeling used. Rather than scoring points, talk to them about how you feel. If they truly care about you, they will take the time to understand the issue and consequently, you can resolve the issue rather than causing more.
Arguments usually start as small-scale bickering and it can quickly escalate when one person recalls previous arguments or makes claims that they have done more than the other person. Point scoring regularly can severely weaken your bond.
Another type of point-scoring is when someone thinks they have the upper hand and they express this, it either makes the other person retaliate because of how they are being treated or it can make the other person feel bad. Having your feeling and point of view ignored hurts, and it’s much worse when it is at the hand of the person who is meant to care for you.
Unfortunately, it is a common problem that occurs in most relationships, and getting through it is tough. The only true way to get past the whole point-scoring routine during arguments is to have strong communication.
What do you do to stop an argument? Do you think arguing can be healthy?
